Thoughts from Home

(NOTE: I'd intended to post this back on Nov 24th but had left it in draft state.)
Last time in China, there was little time for thoughts or conversation. We just tried our darndest to stay on the conveyor belt and get all of the documents processed and back home without imploding. Partly due to Bella's more easy-going nature and with one adoption under our belts, we were more relaxed and able to enjoy/observe the whole experience.

1) Shamian Island, where we stayed in Guangzhou, is as close to ideal for adopting family as it gets. As one travel-mate observed, it didn't feel so 'foreign' there. At one point, several "Western" consulates were housed on the island. British/Western influence is evident in the architecture on the island. Until recently, the U.S. Consulate that processes all China adoptions was on the island. Much of the island's economy dependends on the adoption industry. Thus, you can buy any baby supply, all kinds of gifts/trinkets, and will easily find English-speaking shopowners.

2) In speaking with a new Shamian Island resident, I had one of those lightbulb moments. She mentioned that how "foreigners" view children differs significantly from how Chinese view children. For many Chinese, children are viewed in terms of what they will eventually provide for parents. Lest anyone judge, this set of values dates at least back to Confucius if not longer. Children have an undeniable obligation to care for their parents when they grow older. "Foreigners," on the other hand, view children in terms of what they/we, as parents, can provide for the children. These differing perspectives go a long way toward explaining this whole China/Internationl Adoption phenomenon.

Monday, Nov 17th

Our facilitator met with with the US Consulate today and confirmed that all of our paperwork is in order. Tomorrow, we take the final step of attending the Oath Ceremony (similar to a regular Naturalization Ceremony but with children) and picking up the U.S. Visas. The Visas the children get are actually specialized visas. When they step on US soil, they instantly become US citizens.

When we got Luke, we were much more stressed and didn't enjoy the trip nearly as much. We've spent the last couple of days walking around the island and shopping while enjoying the company of others in our group. Unlike last time, this part of the trip actually feels like a real vacation. We've eaten well, relaxed, swum, and just hung out. At this point on the last trip, we were SO ready to be home. While I look forward to returning, I wouldn't mind extending this vacation by a few days.

Gotcha Video

After some time playing with our new video editing software, here's a version of the video from the day we got Bella that actually fits on YouTube!

Nov 15th

Shamian Island has a unique and interesting history. () Until recently, the US Consulate in Guangzhou was on the island. Any American families adopting from China would've stayed on the island at some point in their journey. A good part of the economy on the island is due to the continuing stream of adopting parents traveling through. Even though the US consulate has since been moved off the island, parents still stay on Shamian Island.

The White Swan Hotel was the first 5-star hotel in Guangzhou. It's an older hotel (smaller space) with excellent food/service. In the hotel is a play room sponsored by Mattel with toys/games for children. Each adopted child is greeted by a unique Barbie doll (Barbie holding black-haired baby). Most of the shops on the island sell baby clothes/supplies and touristy trinkets as much of our time on the island is spent waiting for the US visa for our children.



Our travel group continues to get along fabulously. We have great fun everytime we're together.

Nov 14

Friday the 14th was our last day in Bella's province. We got all of the paperwork (birth certificate, adoption certificate, Chinese passport).

Before we left, our guide took us for a tour of the "Ethnic Village". China was originally a bunch of minority tribes/ethnicities. Each Dynasty in Chinese came about as one minority took over control of the country. Today, the Han are the majority and ruling ethnicity. The population of Bella's province is composed of about 40 minorities. The Zhuang comprise 60% of the population so it's probable that Bella is at least part Zhuang. The Ethnic Village we visit had replica buildings of different minorities.

Our flight left Nanning at about 6:30 and arrived in Guangzhou in an hour. While tired, we were all very excited for the last leg of our trip. Bella did very well on the plane. She cried a couple of times but no major incidents.

Nov 12-13

After a blitz of paperwork on Tuesday, we had a scheduled 'free day' to allow us to bond with our babies. In the short time we've had Bella, she's already grown in some many ways. First and foremost, she's gained a permananet foothold in our hearts. She's brought out the nurturer and protector in all of us, including her brother. Luke's been asking to feed her, and today, he finally got his wish. Bonding-wise, she continues to grow more and more comfortable with us. On the first day, we had to coax her into eating anything. Now, she's proven herself to be an eager eater. Physically, she sits more upright and can walk a lot steadier now. I think that she'll be walking by herself within a couple of weeks.

One of the good things we've seen with Bella is that she does have a very healthy appetite. There's no doubt when she's hungry as she's learned to say "uMMMMM." At dinner last night, she was grabbing at any food in sight. After grabbing at everything, she "settled" for a small bowl of porridge/congee, two slices of watermelon, a few bites of egg, and some soup. It's bittersweet to see her healthy eating habits as I can't help to wonder why she's so small.

On Wednesday, our guide took us to a local park, "Green Mountain Park." It's not hard to see why it's called Green Mountain and why Nanning's nickname is "Green City." You can find out more about the park here: . We had a wonderful time running around and taking pictures. One of the highlights was a climb up a nine-story pagoda which sits on top of a hill. From the top, you get a panoramic view of Nanning. Even with the haze and fog, we had a beautiful view of the city. All the girls in the group have shown a marked improvement in their bonding.

Nov 11th

When we first get Isabella, it's actually on a probationary basis. The next day, we have to sign and process some paperwork to make her legally and officially hours. By noon on Tuesday, 11/11, Bella is legally part of our family.

It's amazing how much progress we'd made within 20 hours. We could easily tease a smile out of her, which is especially amazing since she has a cold/fever and is teething. She slept through the night. When she woke up, she played by herself quietly. She trusts her mommy and daddy to help her walk. She plays easily with her older brother.

Bella is behind in her physical development. Not only is she small for her age, but she also lacks certain motor skills. She cannot walk without help. She cannot seem to pull herself to a standing position. We've yet to see her crawl. Even when she's sitting, she needs support to stay upright. However, she seems alert, curious and intelligent. We believe that she'll thrive once she has the support and opportunity. We've heard of other cases where children were unable to walk when adopted and, within weeks, were on track developmentally. We would appreciate your continued prayers.

Nov 10th, GOTCHA!

We got her! We left Beijing on a 7:40 flight and arrived in Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region (the equivalent of a province) at about 11 AM. After a bit of time to get settled and get our paperwork together, we drove to the nearby Civil Affairs office. Luckily, they didn't keep us waiting long as we were all at our emotional edges.

From China: 2008, Nov 10 Gotcha!

Isabella is beautiful. Like the other babies, she cried at first. But then her big brother came up and started singing to her ("Amazing Grace"), she settled down. One of the other families, the Cornetts, had some corn puffs that their daughter didn't like. Isabella loved it. There are few things more precious than a new child trusting you enough to take food from your hand.

I know we'll still have ups and downs, but the bonding has already begun. Isabella has already laughed and smiled with us and made significant eye contact.

Today, Nov 11th, we're off to the Civil Affairs office again to complete the paperwork. At the end of today, she'll be legally ours. We'll then wait a few days for them to complete processing the paperwork before we fly off to our next stop.

Nov 9th, Sunday

November 8: Great Wall

The main item on our itinerary for Saturday was the Great Wall. It was sandwiched between trips to a cloisonne factory and a jade store. We left at 8 AM, which isn't that early when you're awake at 3 AM. Cloisonne is an ancient artform used for making trinkets, vases, etc. with copper and enamel. Originally limited to the imperial families (we'll see more pictures tomorrow, Nov 9, when we visit the Forbidden Palace), it's since become a favorite among us commoners. Most in our group did some early Christmas shopping! After the factory, we headed up to the Badaling section of the Great Wall, which is over an hour north of Beijing. As we got close, to everyone's surprise, snow started falling! Our guide couldn't remember the last time it snowed this early in the season there. Badaling was a strategic outpost with visibility in eight different directions. While we were prepared for the cold weather, nobody was prepared for the snow. The Great Wall is one of those sites that's just surreal. The Wall is built along the contours of the mountain, so even though it's paved, there are some steep inclines. With the snow, the inclines, and the Saturday crowd, it was not an easy hike. Afterwards, we went to a Jade factory, first for lunch and then some shopping.

Nov 7

We had the option to fly straight to Nanning to pick up Isabella. Two main reasons we came to Beijing a few days early: 1) Allow our bodies to adjust, and 2) Bond with the other families in our group, who, by sharing this experience with us, will forever be part of our extended family. Objective two is right on track. Everyone has been wonderful. We come from all over the country, although I think we're the only ones West of the Mississippi. Objective #1...we'll, let just say I'm glad we have these few days because my body is not quite adjusted. The first night, we all woke up at 2 AM. Tonight (since the sun isn't up yet, I'm still considering this moment part of this night), I woke up a 3:15. Our facilitator says we'll wake up about one hour later each morning until we're fully adjusted.

Yesterday, we mostly lazed around. We had the group orientation to set our expectations for the trip. A few key nuggets: don't drink the water, drivers do not recognize that you have the right of way, soak in the culture, the babies WILL be afraid of you at first. We then set out for the supermarket. The most popular items purchased were bottled water, cup 'o noodles, and misc snacks.

14.5 Hours!

We leave tomorrow. Everything's packed except for Rick's stuff. But how hard is it to pack a pair of jeans, socks and underwear? We're all very excited. We probably won't sleep a wink tonight, but that's okay since we've got 12 hours for that tomorrow. God, we put ourselves in Your hands as we know that You have the power and the love to keep us safe and deliver little Isabella into our loving arms.

2.5 More Days

As THE day approaches, it's been a busy couple of weeks. Earlier last week, we finally got our full in-country itinerary. The first and last parts of the journey in Beijing and Guangzhou should pretty much be the same as when we got Luke (if you'd like to see pictures from that trip: http://china05luke.shutterfly.com/). Each piece of detail on the trip adds to our excitement level (as if it can get any greater!). The danger with getting so excited is forgetting some important minutiae. So me, being the way I am, dug up the packing list from last time. Can you believe there were close to 150 items? We even tracked each piece of clothing on our backs when we got on the plane. There's a term for people like me, but since this is a family friendly site, I won't say it.

For those interested, here's the itinerary. We're fortunate in that we have a direct flight from SF to Beijing. Others in our travel group have two transfers.

Room Update

It's coming together! Here are the latest pictures. We still have to do some touch-ups and get some other pieces of furniture in. Because of the lighting, the colors of the crib look more washed out than they are.

Isabella's Updated Measurements

Earlier this week, we got an update from China. They took updated measurements of her the previous week, at 14 months:
Height: 72.5 cm. > 28.5 inches
Weight: 6.8kg > 15 lbs
Head: 42.5 cm. > 16.7 in
Chest: 42.5 cm. > 16.7 in
Foot: 11cm. > 4.3 in
Teeth: 6 > 6

She's very small for her age. Any prayer warriors out there, we could use some prayers! We're more anxious than ever to get there and have her in our arms (18 days before we leave and 23 days before we have her).

Consulate Appointment!

We got the call from Bethany, our adoption agency, today that our consulate appointment has been confirmed for 11/17. Since that's one of the last things we do during our two weeks in China, we'll likely be leaving around Nov 5th. We'll know for sure when the travel agency sends our itinerary. Based on that 11/17 appt, we should be back home around 11/19, in plenty of time to celebrate Thanksgiving. Rather appropriate, wouldn't you say?

Life, Death, and Life Again

Peggy's Aunt Becky was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in November 2006. After overcoming odds and the original prognosis to live for a couple more years, she succumbed to the cancer on September 28th. We were down in LA for a baby shower for Isabella when it happened. So while we celebrated the arrival of one person in our family, we struggle to come to terms with the loss of another.

Many people have flown in to support Aunt Becky's children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Throughout the day yesterday, we heard stories from the life of Aunt Becky. She was a great woman and leaves an invaluable legacy. Two themes tied many of the stories together: family and charity. It never ceases to amaze me to witness the strength of the ties in the Barela family (Peg's mom's side of the family). Although the family is scattered throughout the US (Alaska, NJ, Colorado, Tennessee, and California), people gather for all of the momentous events. This time was no exception. Hearing from Aunt Becky's children and grandchildren, Aunt Becky's admonitions on the importance of family will not be lost. We believe she hung on in her final days in the hope of seeing her 4th great-grandchild, Ava Grace, which she did just days before her "homecoming." Many also shared how they've been touched by Aunt Becky's selfless, giving nature.

Times of loss remind us to treasure and value our loved ones as much as and while we can. Let us not wait until eulogies to hear all the wonderful things they've done and the lives they've touched. We hope and pray that we will pass Aunt Becky's legacy onto Luke and Isabella.

Rebecca Moore

Feb 2, 1927 - Sep 28, 2008

Tahoe R&R

Before we got the referral, we'd planned a mini-vacation to Tahoe. With all that needs to be done, we'd considered canceling. We're sure glad we went. The weather was beautiful. One of the main reasons we went was to take a hike to Eagle Lake. We'd gone a couple of months back but couldn't hike all the way to the lake. This time, we went to the end of the trail and it sure was worth it. For most of the way, Luke was the leader. The little dictator even allowed us the occasional 10-second break. When we came over the ridge and saw the glimmer of the lake, any burdens we had just melted away. We found out later that the hike is 2 miles round-trip. Luke was a little trooper to have hiked that far....but it sure seemed like it was farther.

http://picasaweb.google.com/ricklin71/2008EagleLakeHike

Last night (Monday), we picked up some chair rails for the room. Now Rick has no excuse to start doing his part.

Room After Weekend One

As planned, we spent the weekend preparing Bella's room. Ok, to be more accurate, Peggy painted the room. It's really coming along. The pink we (again, Peggy) chose is turning out to be a beautiful shade. We'll need need to add a chair rail and some closet shelves and we'll be good to go.

If you look carefully, you'll notice that this job took a lot of caffeine.

Before we got word of Isabella, we'd started on a treehouse for Luke. Ok, so technically, there's no house yet (it's just a raised platform). And the house isn't on a tree (just attached). But it's easier calling it a treehouse than "raised platform attached to tree".

Painting, Shopping, and Passport

We've had a flurry of activity since we received Isabella's referral. After months of putting it off, we've started painting and preparing her room. To be more accurate, Peggy (with Luke's help) have started painting. So far, they've primed so that it'll be ready for paint this weekend. It'll be a simple design of pink on top and white on the bottom with a chairrail separating the two. In the midst of this activity, we've taken a couple of breaks to shop. So far, we've purchased a dress, an outer sleepwear, a toy, and a disposable camera. All will be shipped to her orphanage. Many families who've adopted from the same orphanage in the past have received the camera back with recent pictures from her life in the orphanage.

Unfortunately, Rick will have to renew his passport. Although it won't expire until March '09, Chinese authorities request that it have at least 6 months remaining before a visa will be issued. I guess they don't want anyone to be stuck in their country without a valid passport. Luckily there's an expedite process to get it turned around in about two weeks.

Lists Lists Lists

Peg still makes fun of Rick for his lists. For our small wedding (<50 attendees), he made a by-minute pocket-sized schedule for the day, laminated it, and gave her one that morning. Of course, she didn't have a pocket in her wedding dress.

After months of doing nothing but checking sites and groups for news/rumors on referrals, we now have so much to do. To prepare for Isabella's room: 1) Paint Room, 2) Install closet, 3) Paint/prepare crib, 4) Install shutters (well, we didn't need it when it was just for storage....plus we probably couldn't reach the window when the room was jam-packed), 5) Install pink ceiling fan. We also have to prepare for the trip itself: 1) Get crisp currency, 2) Get visas, 3) Make travel arrangements, 4) Verify all paperwork is in order, 5) Shop. Uh....what else?

Isabella's Room

There was a time when we thought we'd have Isabella home by the end of December 2007. Then December rolled around without word. While we were disappointed, we were confident that we would receive our referral in January or February 2008. To prepare, we cleared out the room that will be Isabella's. (Believe me, that was a big step since that room has somehow evolved into our "storage" room, which is a nice way of describing our dumping ground.) We even bought the paint and planned the trimmings. Before we got around to painting, we heard that referrals would slow down as the entire country of China prepared for the Olympics. We thought, "Even if the referral comes a month or two later, we'll surely go before the Olympics, right?"

Yikes! Now we have to scramble and get her room set up and painted. Then we can refinish the crib and start shopping! Not to worry...we're going to hang her picture in the room as a reminder that ours is a labor of love.

Referral Package

We just got the referral package. Every piece of paper is so precious...it feels as if we're one step closer to touching our Isabella.

Referral!

We got the call!!!! Actually, to be more accurate, we called the agency before they called us (more details on that later). Her name is Yibai Jiang (soon to be Isabella Yibai Lin) from Guangxi. She was born on 8/12/07 and appears to be a very healthy girl. We'll get all the information from FedEx tomorrow.

So what happened is I (Rick) checked our Agency's site this morning and found the following message:

Bethany Christian Services just received 6 female referrals from Guangxi Province! Five are for our February 6, 2006 LID group and one is an expedited referral for a January 2007 LID. Congratulations!

Since our LID (Log In Date) was 1/11/07 and China often refers entire expedited months at a time, we wondered why our agency hadn't called us yet. So we called our case worker. It turns out she'd been in a staff meeting all morning and hadn't checked her email. So, she didn't even know until we called and prompted her to check her email!!

We'll share some of feelings/emotions later. We're busy calling everyone now! We'll post more information and a picture tomorrow.

Waiting...

Our journey actually started soon after we brought Luke home from China. We'd decided early on that we wanted him to have a sibling. After waiting the requisite time, we started the paper chase. After close to a year, we submitted our dossier to China in December 2006. When we got Luke, it took about 3 1/2 months to get the referral. That time quickly passed. So we waited...and waited...and waited... We found out that referral times had greatly increased. Still, we were sure that we'd have her home in 2007. The year quickly passed.

At the beginning of each month (when referrals usually come out), we wondered, "Is this the month?" After a while, we learned to curb our expectations. Although our wait has been painfully long, we realize that we're one of the fortunate ones -- because Rick is Chinese, our application will be expedited. Expedited applications receive referrals ~1 year faster than non-expedites. While we've anguished, we also realized that others suffer more. As each month passed, our unspoken doubts loomed: what if we weren't expedited after all? what if something happened to our application? what if they found some reason to not accept our application?

Many people choose to adopt from China because it's well structured well relatively clear expectations. This unexpected wait has been especially difficult. We take comfort in believing that Isabella is out there and will be given to us at His perfect time.